Okay, so it's the day after Valentine's Day (insert dreamy batting of the eyes here… heehee). And so I'm falling to the temptation to put in my two cents worth about love and such things. Bear with me… or stop reading. Either way. ;)
I noted an interesting fact yesterday when we were handing out family valentines. If you fold a heart in half and turn it upside down, it's a teardrop. That's very appropriate, as I see it. Not to sound cynical, but if you really, deeply love another human being, at some point or another, you will be really, deeply hurt. 'Cause no matter what the songs say, true love doesn't guarantee an emotional rose garden.
But as I see it, what matters isn't having no problems… what matters is what you do with the problems. Do you work through them together and let it make the love stronger, or do you let things fester and erode the love? I've observed too many instances where this happens (in any sort of human relationship)--hurt, miscommunications, and other problems aren't dealt with. There is too little forgiveness, and far too little good, humble communication about hurts, feelings, issues. Short of a lot of work and divine intervention, these couples--once "in looooove"--often end up hating each other if the lack of communication goes on long enough.
It's really sad. But on the other side, there are couples who understand that marriage isn't a "s/he makes me feel wonderful therefore I must be with him/her forever and happily ever after!" They know that marriage is about being a team, being one, even when emotions aren't warm and fuzzy. They know that marriage will be heaven sometimes, and there will be times it feels like hell… and it's how the couple handles the hell times that will define how they make it. Will they be proud or humble? Unforgiving or forgiving? Selfish or selfless? Clam up, refuse to speak, or discuss problems? From what I understand as a marriage counselor's kid: if both parties are committed to loving each other selflessly, serving each other, and tackling/overcoming their problems and their desires, the marriage WILL be a happy one.
My point is this: love isn't about pink hearts, roses, chocolate, romantic words and gestures. It's about a mutual commitment: with you, for better or worse, heaven or hell, 'til the day I die. It's about mutual selflessness: I regard you as more important than myself. It's about mutual hard work: I'm gonna see that this thing stays strong and beautiful to the end, no matter what. It's about humility before God and each other. That's the love that works. That's the love that's true and that will make a marriage beautiful and powerful. And it takes a helluva lot of work.
And this is a bit of an aside but, from all I've learned from my parents and others, I still have this unanswered question about love: in the real world, is there (or can there be) such a thing as a "one true love"? (Before you're married/engaged) And I do mean "one"… as in "this is the man/woman for me and there's no one else"… even if you never get to marry that person or one or the other of you dies? A love that says "I'd rather die than live without her/him." (why yes, I am a hopeless romantic writer, how'd you guess? XD) Or is that thing reserved for stories and anyone who says they have a "one true love" they're willing to wait forever for is just kinda stupid and obsessive and needs to build a bridge and get over it? "There are other fish in the sea; you'll find someone else" and all that. Are they being "sinful" to wait? Foolish to hope? Taking things out of God's hands?
None of those rhetorical questions, btw. I don't think I know the answer yet. Just a little tricky tidbit to keep any other hopeless romantics up at night (I can see you now… "oh dangit, now she's got me wondering too!") XD Maybe I just think too much in terms of stories, or maybe love isn't always as cut and dried as some people would like to make it. And then again, if a recurring theme runs through all great stories, legends, and myths throughout the ages, I tend to think there's gotta be truth there, somewhere. Ah well. I wonder if many people have pondered this in this "convenience romance" day and age where loyalty means very little and people seem unwilling to put up with rejection/hurt/waiting for very long with no reward. But hopefully I'll learn the answer someday, one way or another, whatever the answer is. 'Til then I guess I'll just enjoy songs like "Somewhere, Somehow." (yes, one of my very favs--I told you I'm a hopeless romantic, didn't I?) X) ;P
And there. Valentine's Day 2012, you have been done justice by this rambling blogger. The end. ^____^
True love? Yes. Love at first sight? Impossible. For it to be love, both people have to know it, and for both people to know it, they literally HAVE to communicate said feeling to each other. As to "true love", sure. If you've met someone that you just can't stop thinking about, day in and day out, and they feel the same way about you, then that's the closest it'll ever get to "true love". So long as that's your definition, it's possible.
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